欢迎来到爱尚英语
关于爱尚:
您当前所在的位置:主页 > 英语资料 > 美文分享 >

快乐的人的秘密

浏览量: 发布时间:2018-03-03 09:51 点击在线免费咨询

Happiness is not something easily measured. After all, it is truly in the eyes of the beholder, and depends so much on our perspective of life. Happiness is not a one-size-fits-all concept!

That being said, there are some common elements of highly happy people. Happy people who have unlocked the secrets of happiness have the seven characteristics below. How many do you have? Take the short quiz at the end to find out!

Secret #1
Highly happy people stop looking on the outside for what they need to find within.

They understand material things, and even people, could never be the key to their happiness. While they realize the importance of loving and supportive relationships, they never expect to find themselves in someone else, and never lose themselves trying to find someone else. In fact, highly happy people realize that over-dependence on others is actually the fast track to unhappiness and even relationship problems. They know that depending on others for happiness can be the source of unimaginable conflict, bitterness, blame and perpetual disappointment.

Highly happy people also are not fooled that ‘things’ -  such as fancy cars, expensive clothes and posh vacations – are the places where true happiness is found. They know all too well that when you base your happiness on mostly outside things, you can still feel empty within.

Secret #2
Highly happy people really, really like themselves.

Happy people have a foundation of self-love. Those who listen to negative messages in their head that they are not “smart enough,” attractive enough,” “lovable enough” and just plain not “good enough” end up spending their lives wanting to be someone else. Rather than be the best they can be, unhappy people spend futile time comparing themselves to others.

On the other hand, happy people would agree that it is wiser to compare themselves only to themselves and measure their progress over where they were yesterday. Yet, they are not unrealistic and expect their self-love to improve in a straight line.

Happy people know that comparing self-worth to others is risky business – there will always be someone wealthier, prettier, more popular, with smarter kids, better jobs and nicer cars. They realize that if you measure yourself against someone else’s yardstick, you will always come up short. Therefore, instead of trying to be like someone they admire, they learn from them.

People who are happy with themselves don’t need power over others to feel good about themselves. They also live by the motto that, “No one has power over you unless you give it to them!”

Secret #3
Highly happy people fully realize that there are some things they will never get over.

People who are highly happy don’t expect life to always go smoothly, and realize that life’s happiness does not go on without interruptions: that in fact, a full life has times of great sadness. They are the last people to tell others to, “Get over it,” and are also patient with themselves in navigating through challenging times. They realize that there are some things so terrible in life that the best we can do is get through. They regard life-altering events – such as death of a loved one, a huge failure or career setback, relationship break ups, health challenges and life altering disabilities – as some of the issues that sever life into “before” and “after.” Rather than rail against life’s injustice, highly happy people learn that there still can be beauty and happiness after loss. They refuse to let major setbacks define the rest of their lives, and they find beauty on the other side of even a major trauma and loss. In essence, they deepen rather than weaken.

Secret #4
Highly happy people know the difference between ‘denial’ and ‘optimism’.

Highly happy people are not ones to live in denial when things bother them, but rather they are open and honest to themselves and others, and do not hide from themselves or their feelings. They have confidence in themselves that they can make a positive spin on almost anything that happens, without pretending to feel something they don’t. Rather than shrugging their feelings off, or pretending that they don’t care, they address their feelings and thoughts head on. Instead of blocking difficult thoughts and feelings with a ‘don’t worry about it’ mentality, they have faith in themselves to work though difficult feelings and find a lesson or silver lining. They don’t have ‘all or nothing’ thinking where they either gloss over their feelings or judge or berate themselves for feeling down. They focus more on how they get up after falling rather than how they fell down. They tend to ask themselves, “What did I learn?” Rather than, “What was I thinking?”

Secret #5
Highly happy people realize the importance of being open to others rather than shutting down.

Humans are social creatures, and happy people tend to have strong bonds of friendship and closeness with family and friends. They seek support in good times and bad. Their network increases with passing years, valuing seasoned relationships while opening themselves up to new ones. They value relationships and do not take them for granted. They find they feel best when helping and giving to others, and allow others to help them, too.

The one thing that highly happy people do not do is to spend much energy trying to protect themselves from being hurt. Rather, they have enough confidence in themselves that looking to others for warmth, comfort and support has more potential to make them stronger, not weaker. They trust others, but realize the foundation for trusting others is trusting themselves. Using the analogy of a being a passenger on a rowboat in the middle of a lake, you will be more likely to trust the person rowing if you can swim.

Secret #6
Highly happy people are not bitter, but get better by forgiving.

Realizing the difference between condoning behavior and forgiving it, they don’t hold grudges because bitterness only hurts them – not the other person. They have long accepted the notion that people can only be as healthy as they are inside, and can not give you what they don’t have to give. It’s like expecting a door to be a chair, and expecting to get eggs at a hair salon. It just won’t happen.

They observe too many wasted years that people spend wishing, expecting, condemning and being angry because their loved ones, co-workers, friends and society can’t give them what they want or deserve. Rather than getting caught in the way others and even life itself ‘should’ be, they adjust their expectations, and let go of the rest. Sometimes that entails setting much better limits with toxic people in their lives, and in the case of abuse, to discontinue a relationship altogether.

Highly happy people extend the courtesy of forgiveness also to themselves, and forgive themselves for not knowing then what they do now. 

Secret #7
Highly happy people live life looking and moving forward, not backwards.

Highly happy people learn from the past, they don’t live in it. They don’t get stuck in ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’ thinking. They forgive themselves for not having the foresight to have what is now so obvious in hindsight. Instead of focusing on wondering, “Why,” they focus on, “What’s next?” They also do not live wishing for the ‘good old days’. They are too busy making memories now to live in the old ones, no matter how good they were. Old snapshots have a place in life, but they don’t want to be stuck there.  Powered by yesterday, with an eye on the future, today becomes the place to live.

Imagine yourself driving a car. You would not get very far driving through the rear view mirror!

So how about you?
Are you a highly happy person? Below is a quick quiz to see where you are on the continuum from highly miserable to highly happy. The higher the score, the more you are likely to be highly happy. Let us know how you do, and what you have to work on to increase your happiness quotient!

Quiz: Are you highly happy?

Rate each of the seven items on what best characterizes you. The higher you score, the happier you are! Use this quiz often as a way of measuring your ‘happiness quotient’, comparing your score only to your previous scores. If you score on the lower side, be easy on yourself. The idea is to keep moving forward and increasing your happiness quotient!
 

幸福不是容易衡量的东西。毕竟,它确实存在于旁观者的眼中,而在很大程度上取决于我们的人生观。幸福不是一个千篇一律的概念!
 
也就是说,快乐的人有一些共同的元素。幸福的人打开了幸福的秘密,下面有七个特征。你有多少个?做最后的小测验找出答案!
 
秘密# 1
非常快乐的人不再在外面寻找他们需要找到的东西。
 
他们懂得物质的东西,甚至是人,永远也不能成为他们幸福的钥匙。当他们意识到爱和支持关系的重要性时,他们从不期望自己陷入别人的位置,而且永远不会迷失自己去寻找别人。事实上,非常快乐的人意识到过度依赖他人实际上是通往不幸甚至是人际关系问题的快车道。他们知道,依靠别人获得幸福是不可想象的冲突、痛苦、责备和永久失望的根源。
 
高度快乐的人也不会被愚弄,诸如“豪华汽车”、“昂贵衣服”和“豪华度假”之类的东西都是真正幸福的地方。他们非常清楚,当你把幸福建立在外在事物之上时,你仍会感到内心空虚。
 
秘密# 2
非常快乐的人,真的,真的喜欢他们自己。
 
幸福的人有自爱的基础。那些在头脑中听到负面信息的人说他们不够聪明,不够吸引人,“不够可爱”,只是说“不够好”,到头来他们还想成为别人。不快乐的人与其浪费时间,不如把自己和别人做比较。
 
另一方面,幸福的人会同意,比较自己只对自己和衡量他们的进步比昨天更明智。然而,他们并非不切实际,并期望他们的自爱能直线提升。
 
幸福的人知道比较自我价值与他人是有风险的生意——总会有人更富有、更漂亮、更受欢迎,有更聪明的孩子、更好的工作和更好的汽车。他们意识到,如果你用别人的尺度衡量自己,你总是会很短。因此,他们不是试图像他们崇拜的人那样,而是从他们身上学习。
 
对自己满意的人不需要别人的力量去自我感觉良好。他们的座右铭是:“除非你给他们权力,否则没有人能控制你。”!“
 
秘密# 3
非常幸福的人充分意识到有些事情他们永远不会忘记。
 
非常快乐的人不会期望生活总是一帆风顺的,并且意识到生活的幸福不会随着中断而持续下去:事实上,一个充实的人生有着巨大的悲伤。他们是最后一个告诉别人要“克服它”的人,他们也能耐心地度过困难时期。他们意识到生活中有些可怕的事情,我们能做的最好的事就是克服困难。他们把改变生活的事件–如亲人的死亡,一个巨大的失败或事业上的挫折、关系破裂、健康的挑战和改变生活的障碍–等一些问题,严重的生活变成“前”和“后”,而不是抱怨生活的不公,幸福的人懂得还可以在损失是美丽和幸福。他们拒绝让重大挫折定义他们的生活,他们发现美的另一面,甚至是一个重大的创伤和损失。本质上,它们加深而不是削弱。
 
Secret #4
非常快乐的人知道“拒绝”和“乐观”之间的区别。
 
快乐的人并不是生活在事情困扰中的否定者,而是对自己和他人敞开和诚实的人,不要隐藏自己或自己的感受。他们对自己有信心,他们可以在几乎任何事做出积极的自旋,没有假装感到他们所不知道的事。而不是耸着感情,或者假装他们不在乎,他们解决他们的感情和思想的头。他们用一种“不用担心”的心态来阻止困难的想法和情绪,他们相信自己能通过艰难的情绪来工作,并找到教训或一线希望。他们没有“全或无”的思维,他们要么掩饰自己的感情或法官或自责的感觉了。他们更关注跌倒后如何起床,而不是摔倒。他们往往会问自己:“我学到了什么?“而不是,”我在想什么?“
 
秘密# 5
非常高兴的人意识到向别人敞开大门而不是关门的重要性。
 
人是社会的生物,快乐的人往往有很强的友谊和感情。
姓名: *
性别:
手机: *
QQ:
E-mail:
宁波哪里有成人英语培训

如果宁波哪里有成人英语培训,那么一般来说,我们来宁波是为了宁波爱英语。宁波爱英语...[详细]

关于思瑞褔 | 关于爱尚 | 联系我们 | 优惠活动
首页 | 宁波英语培训 | 宁波英语口语 | 宁波商务英语 | 宁波职场英语 | 宁波日常英语 | 宁零基础英语 | 宁波雅思培训
宁波思瑞福教育旗下爱尚英语 客服QQ:800030336 地址:宁波市江东区彩虹南路11号嘉汇国贸A座902
Copyright (C) 2012-2012 www.nbsrf.com Inc. All rights reserved. 思瑞教育集团 版权所有
网站地图
浙ICP备12008911号-4